Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Pencil Shavings and Bad Ink

A few updates...this blog will be updated more often by me. (I don't know about my asian friend. She may or may not be committed. The artist these days while striving to be cynical and alone is actually frequently requested and filling up computer screens everywhere with bad smilies. Someone remind her of her old self) I doubt my portion of the blog will continue to be auto-biographical. Criticism is becoming my sole perspective, but lets just be happily personal a little more:

The campus magazine Telos debuted with its first issue. My two articles were OK. I can't help but grind my teeth at the longer one being cut by over 700 words. I understand the nature of the beast that is being published but I happily refuse to read what I wrote. Too painful and sore to my eyes when it could have been better. For the rest of the issue, some articles were really good but many were pedestrian. I wasn't surprised that everyone who came across the paper loved it. Just bravo to those few who threw out criticism. The first issue was a 14 year old's introduction to liberalism. We can do better next time.

Kindly, I was given three copies of the first issue for free. None of those copies are in my possession right now. They are currently being ignored by friends and family alike.

Fall Semester grades are in. Two weeks ago, I told my grandma as a joke I got all A's. She was thrilled. She thought I was finally making my way up in the world after nearly dropping out of my last college due to bad grades and financial aid suspension. I felt content at the time to be blue collar the rest of my life. Now I'm somewhere new after much pressure to finish what I started. After lying to my grandma, I confessed to my dad my grades would likely be nowhere near that. He called her back and said I was just being an ass. He'll have to call her back again. I actually got all A's. Really really didn't plan on that. Now I'm so excited I'm going to turn into one of those phobics who only worry about perfect grades. Its a gruesome fear.

The LIBERAL. What a splendid creature the Liberal is on a university campus. Back in my hometown amongst my friends it meant not being a redneck. On campus, the strive is to be some bullshit intellectual. Requirements are in order:

1.) You must despise George W. Bush. The worst President ever. Forget a previous President was made an honorary member of the Ku Klux Klan and another who pushed a War with Vietnam that lead to hundreds of thousands of people dead. George W. Bush with his just some thousand dead is by far the greatest evil.

2.) Dress smart. Dress in clothes that look like they are second hand but really are not. Anyone who goes to the local thrift stores here know they are only getting grandpa's ugly old digs. Shop online for the latest 'smart' clothes that look modest but really are fucking expensive. As one sees you walking the hallways with your vintage sweater and kaki's, they'll know your brain is truly thinking under all that bullshit.

3.) Love the arts. When at a trendy party, have a one paragraph description available for every art and its popular artist or movement. When digging painting, dig on Picasso and his cubist efforts. If you go Monet the girl will think you may not even be bullshitting. If going music, go jazz. Classical Music has too many foreign names with awful pronuciations. Jazz just has Miles Davis and he is "The Birth of Cool". Remember, one can't just know these people. They have to truly love them and their work. One paragraph type of love.

4.) Be cultured. When introducting yourself, pedigree how you drink tea during the daytime and wine at night. Say you don't watch TV because Fox News seems to be everywhere. You're favorite activity is reading the NY Times. State your beliefs on half a dozen issues that are already over bloated in discussion. Say you have or someday are planning to write a book. You don't have to really write it. Unless the other person is truly naive, they'll never have interest to read what you wrote. They'll assume your articulate manners means you have or will.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Calluna said...

I'm taking notes.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Kieran said...

Ironically rougerum, the NY Times isn't really liberal at all. On the rest yeah well, it's a no-win situation isn't it. Kind of like being stuck inside a slightly down-market 'American Psycho'.

And yes I really do hate George Bush, he's probably not the worst ever, but hey, he's OUR worst ever! lol. I'm not American btw but you knew that already. I'm probably the not-a-redneck type liberal.

Look on the bright side, ten years from now those 'campus liberals' will be voting Republican and screwing the poor, just like their daddies.

8:14 PM  

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